Lyrics: Santy claws are scratching up my back oh, holy crismas tells the story of the days when santa hit the sack oh, holy crismas he took a break and gave nothing to the people said, "i'm going on a diet, i'll tread instead of sled" no one knows the whole story he disappeared for quite a while and in those years the people learned to laugh instead of smile oh, holy crismas raindeer keep knocking on my shoes, they taste delicious in the morning with my presents by the dozens it's incessant and i'm looking for a something else to do oh, holy crismas santy and his raindeer are never coming back oh, holy crismas people started smiling and laughing as presents instead oh, holy crismas the turn of events ended up pleasant santa stopped watching tv and took up hiking he's now an Alaskan mountain ranger attempting to thwart the oil drilling earth changer! santy claws keep scratching up my back in the morning by the dozens with my sisters and my cousins i am warding off the santa claus attack oh, holy crismas lost running through the forest where outside i saw a steeple lost, in Alaska it's a place where people go so i thought there might be people help, i will ask 'em knocked upon the door, it fell down and hit the floor i met a slender, bearded man and somehow asked him what it's for when he replied, "i've not decided till i stopped and asked for more." raindeer nibbled toes, a twinkle hit my nose his presence descended, thought my life had ended one day in december, i try not remember, oh, holy crismas santy claws keep scratching up my back in the morning by the dozens with my sisters and my cousins i am warding off the santa claus attack oh, holy crismas this is where i come in, i am an oil tycoon, prospecting's my business and business it does boom when lost in search of money where snow and wind did blow skinny white beard man came at me with rosy cheeks and a suit of red and he said, "Turn around there sonny, i can tell you've got an itch." He scratched and he scratched till my suit was not a stitch yes he scratched and he scratched, that's the sitch yes he scratched yes he scratched yes he scratched! santy claws keep scratching up my back in the morning by the dozens with my sisters and my cousins i am warding off the santa claus attack oh, holy crismas